It's not always about us having to write something funny, not that we actually write that much funny stuff, but it's also our duty to point you in the direction of funny things as and when we find them.

Today, it's all about Moustapha Salifou and if you click here you'll see what is on his Wiki page now.

In case it gets taken down, I've decided to copy what is on the Wiki page for Salifou and paste it in below, just for you.

Playing Career - Before Aston Villa, little is known of the man they call Tongo's answer to Zidane. It is only while at Aston Villa that his career has really taken off. Although yet to start a game or even properly kick a ball for the West Midlands outfit he has become a huge cult hero largely due to leaked reports of an upcoming debut solo rap album. Lyrics have been leaked onto various Villa forums, although Mr Salifou has yet to release anything publicly.

He is believed to have been in New York for the last few months working with many top name artists and producers including Mark Ronson, Timbaland and Reo-Coker.

He has also starred in several Hollywood movies since his movie debut in "BIG". No it wasn't Villa's biggest fan Tom Hanks it was Salifou with a bit of makeup adding a touch of class to a patchy script. His latest acting role is as the villain in the upcoming James Bond film - he will also be playing the bond girl, M, Q and Miss Moneypenny. - having turned down the role of Bond himself stating that he didnt want to get typecast. The irony of his latest roles will not be lost on many of you who are no doubt aware that Salifou was Ian Fleming's original inspiration for Bond, as well as Gandalf in The Lord of the Rings and Scarlet O'Hara in Gone With the Wind.

After Changing Villa's season around with a cameo 3 minute performance at Reading the Aston Villa world football superstar has been rested after his efforts and the Villa faithful know who is responsible for Aston Villa and Martin O'Neill's fantastic second season. When Salifou sits on the bench the whole Villa team gets inspired. O'Neill himself gets some extra tactical help just from following Salifou's eyes to the problem area on the pitch -"Not Petrov again!" Martin thinks... but who is he to argue with the silent wonder.

He also has the 17th largest feet in Togo.

He owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

More recently, in what has been hailed as 'the wedding of the century', Salifou has married his long term partner Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands. Sources close to Queen Beatrix have stated 'we hope this marriage lasts longer than Salifou's previous marraige to Queen Latifah, which was annulled after 26 days when it was discovered she is not a real queen'.

Salifou made Jason Lee have 'that haircut' as Pineapple was his favourite food when he was a kid.

The BCFC board are now holding a crisis meeting headed: "We must-have-a Salifou" however sadly for them there is, and can only ever be ONE SALIFOU!

He was also recently voted World Player of the Year but was unable to attend the ceremony due to his Wedding, the accolade was stripped from him, he has now stated that he "will now never attend the event again" in protest.

Comments (70)

Subscribe to this comment's feed

Villa_Rules said:

He is believed to have been in New York for the last few months working with many top name artists and producers including Mark Ronson, Timbaland and Reo-Coker ^^^^^^ Lmao class Funny stuff

February 22, 2008

sirdjsmith said:

Superb.. the original article has been taken down already though!!

February 22, 2008

satch said:

Moustapha Salifou is bigger than Chuck Norris I heard...

February 22, 2008

SuperSeanUK said:

In a fight between Chuck Norris and Darth Vader, the winner would be Salifou

February 22, 2008

Luke said:

Salifou does not sleep. He waits.

February 22, 2008

amorrill said:

Salifou is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Salifou

February 22, 2008

The Mighty Steve said:

Damn those Wikipedians! They work fast. Just because a few of the facts had not been checked yet does not make it untrue.

February 22, 2008 | url

SuperSeanUK said:

Salifou has never been caught offside. Ever. One Linesman incorrectly flagged him once and promtply exploded into flames beneath Salifou's fiery stare.

February 22, 2008

dan123 said:

When Salifou gets in a bath he dosen't get wet, the water gets salifou

February 22, 2008

villafandan said:

i love it, that's hilarious!!! shame the page is deleted, nice one copying the content damian. couple of interesting facts that were missed though... firstly, some people wear Superman pajamas.... Superman wears Moustapha Salifou pajamas. and secondly, Moustapha Salifou CAN believe it's not butter. fact.

February 22, 2008

Arrlui said:

Salifou doesn't believe in God, God believes in Salifou. And I heard nothing about his relationship with the Queen in the papers over here. Must have been kept hush hush by the government...

February 22, 2008

DSparks said:

I've heard that when Salifou goes for a header he doesn't jump up with his legs but pushes the earth down.

February 22, 2008

Kieran McGrath said:

salifou's penis has a penis and its still bigger than yours if you have £5 and salifou has £5, salifou has more money than you apple pays salifou 99p for every song he listens to salifou can sneeze with his eyes open salifou counted to infinity....TWICE salifou is the reason why wally is hiding

February 22, 2008

B6 Boy said:

salifou went around the world in 49 days They say when salifou wakes up doves fly over his house salifou has 50 bodygaurds and 500 members of staff salifou doesnt cruise control he controls the cruise he was voted 5th best organic food grower in togo In his spare time he leads a life like hugh hefner, back home in his mansion with all his bitc***, drinking cristal & smokin cuban cigars, hugh is actually a very close friend

February 22, 2008

Burn Small Heath said:

Salifou can play the entire 8 minutes and 2 seconds of Stairway To Heaven followed by a Guns and Roses medley by strumming his pubes

February 23, 2008

rob h said:

the name salifou means 'the don and god of togo'. His parents could not decide on his first name so instead mrs salifou said to mr salifou. We must have a 'salfiou' mustapher was born 9 months later.

February 23, 2008

rob h said:

oh its also worth noting the work salifou does for charity. He does confessions in st Martins church in small heath every sunday. So far he has been unable to cleans the soul of bc fans. Some things are impossible!! even for him

February 23, 2008

Jedi said:

Its rumoured that Salifou knows exactly whats going on in LOST and has done for some time, he also carried out the dna test for Darth Vader and Luke skywalker bringing them together and at the same time bringing balance to the force. I just heard that Gazza has been sectioned under the mental health act and sent to an instituion for thugs/criminals with no chance of recovery " were glad to have him back said Keegan "

February 23, 2008

Jedi said:

Oh and he also smokes cuban cigars on bank holidays with Dr Jo Venglos at Corley services and cameo's on Top Gear as the stig.

February 23, 2008

Arrlui said:

Salifou stole fire from the Gods, killed a Tiger in unarmed combat and then took down civilisation and rebuilt it before breakfast this morning.

February 23, 2008

gazza said:

I reckon its Martin O'Neil in costume, you never see them together at the same time. There was a report last week, someone saying they saw him in the mist hovvering above Pals Pool in Sutton Park saving someones dog. I believe it.

February 23, 2008

rach said:

and he managed to sort out his tax credits ...he must be god!

February 23, 2008

McVillain said:

Classic. What they missed is Salifou is that hard that he makes his Mrs iron his shirts, while he's wearing them!! His rice crispies don't go"snap,crackle,pop"they go"shush, here he comes" He turned down the recent Rambo part, Rambo was too much of a softie!!!

February 23, 2008

nan was a fan said:

I heard Salifou is one of only 3 men alive who gets up to the minute news from the Official Villa Website. Jedi,loved the Gazza/Newcastle gag.

February 23, 2008

gazza said:

Don't know about being a God, he looks more like a Jamaican Yardie.

February 23, 2008

mickey86 said:

rumour has it that the predator and terminator was both stories based on his upbringing, and he is also the only person who ever visits the holte hotel on days when villa arent playing. his favourite tipple is a pint of varnish with a plate of nuts n bolts.

February 23, 2008

rach said:

I heard that he's not too scared to go upstairs on the number 11 bus!!

February 23, 2008

caleb said:

gazza, get out.

February 23, 2008

somersetvilla said:

Itis well known that he comes from a long line of famous salifous,his father wing commander salifou was the most famous tongolese fighter pilot in WW11,after shooting down 44 jerrys he was shot down over folkstone and ended up in a jap POW camp,due to the strong head wind,but he escaped by digging a tunnel under the river kwai.And his brother can suck a fruit pastille without chewing.

February 23, 2008

rach said:

Gazza...I think he looks more like 'Seal' and I think I saw him clubbing last week.

February 23, 2008

rach said:

Gazza.....i think he looks like seal,and I saw him out clubbin last week

February 23, 2008

monsoon said:

Salifou is the god of the vegans - Gordon Ramsey has Tofu we have Salifou Salifou is invincible and ancient with Zen - Bruce Lee had Kung Foo we have Higher Salifou

February 23, 2008

monsoon said:

Luke I aint laughed so much for years - made my week!

February 23, 2008

mj said:

he IS the stig

February 23, 2008

mickey86 said:

salifou can kill 2 stones with 1 bird and he can slam a revolving door and there is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures mustapha salifou has allowed to live. and chelsea will win the carling up because salifou has told all the chelsea players to win and all the totenham players to lose.

February 24, 2008

mickey86 said:

also i heard he can strike a match on a bar of soap and he is allowed to talk about fight club and he once played russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won and the villa strike force is so quick becuase salifou is AFTER THEM!!

February 24, 2008

mickey86 said:

salifou doesnt get ill, ill gets salifou

February 24, 2008

mickey86 said:

salifou hasnt slept with 2 thousand women, 2 thousand women have slep with salifou.

February 24, 2008

Arrlui said:

Salifou is.

February 24, 2008

Woodinho said:

Mustafa Salifou isn't Togo's answer to Zidane... Zidane is France's answer to Salifou!

February 24, 2008

theprimeminister said:

Salifou taught Doug Ellis the bicycle kick.

February 25, 2008

theprimeminister said:

Randy Lerner bought Aston Villa with the money he borrowed from Salifou, which he'd better pay back unless he wants to end up like the last guy.

February 25, 2008

Arrlui said:

Salifou is a convicted paedophile.

February 25, 2008

mickey86 said:

shut up arrlui u twat!!

February 25, 2008

theprimeminister said:

I presume your on the list Arrlui.

February 25, 2008

Arrlui said:

You presume incorrectly Mr Brown.

February 25, 2008

Jedi said:

Oh Arrlui, so you have'nt been caught yet, good luck with that, but beware, those blue nose boys are not that bright you know and there bound to let slip sooner or later and then you'll be in blue B*m Boy heaven getting rode by a fellow bluenose with a face like a bag of lego, NICE.......

February 25, 2008

Kieran McGrath said:

arrlui your such an idiot, did you get a 5 year old to write that message, while you were to busy trying to get on the list aswell

February 26, 2008

mickey86 said:

and he's dutch, poor bloke doesnt stand a chance

February 26, 2008

Trog said:

I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more. Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles, to see Moustapha Salifou score. Up The Salifou!

February 26, 2008

me_richard_ said:

Rome wasn't built in a day. But if salifuo was on the job it would have been

February 27, 2008

mickey86 said:

did anyone feel salifou sneeze last night, made the earth shake!!!

February 27, 2008

Salifou said:

I like the Villa website.

February 27, 2008

theprimeminister said:

If that's the case then I've changed my mind and so do I.

February 27, 2008

Arrlui said:

I've always said I like the Villa site...

February 27, 2008

theprimeminister said:

You also said Salifou was a kiddie fiddler so your view doesn't count.

February 28, 2008

Salifou said:

I believe Arrlui's view counts.

February 28, 2008 | url

Watto said:

Salifou went into to Burger and King and ordered a Big Mac – He got one!

February 28, 2008

Pete said:

mickey86 obviously likes chuck norris =P

February 28, 2008

mickey86 said:

chuck who?

February 29, 2008

deanwhu said:

salifou is a poor man's John Paintsil

February 29, 2008

Ipbopmalik said:

1. Salifou is the only person to get his money back after his blade shaved close than Victor Kayem's Remington Micro screen. 2. Salifou put KWIK-FIT out of business after being considerably quicker than them changing his tyre. Thus proving that ' The boys ' can't be trusted. 3. Jesus turned water in to wine, but Salifou turned it in to a fine Claret...and blue. 4. Salifou has shown the Dali Lama the road to enlightenment...VP. 5. Salifou doesn't look for missing persons, missing persons find him. 6. HM Customs declared everything to Salifou. 7. Beware Big Brother, Salifou is watching you!

February 29, 2008

Danboi said:

Everyone said the riots in Kenya were over politics!!! The real reason was that Salifou had cancelled his the African leg of his world tour!!

February 29, 2008

Danboi said:

When salifou flaps his arms a building collapses on the otherside of the world?? Coincidence...I think not!!

February 29, 2008

Jacko33 said:

Salifou's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried deanwhu - John Plaintsil is a bummer

February 29, 2008

Nick DJ said:

Salifou doesnt read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants If at first you dont succeed, your not Salifou. Salifous tears can cure cancer, shame he never cries. Salifou lost his virginity before his dad did Crop circles are salifous way of telling the world that sometimes corn just has to lie the f**k down Salifou can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass, at night. On the first day, god said "let there be light", Salifou said "say please"

February 29, 2008

deanwhu said:

Salifool dreams of a world of John Paintsils

February 29, 2008

Danboi said:

Salifou First shag was with a woman called EVE... apparently we are all related???

February 29, 2008

Arrlui said:

Salifou can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass, at night. On the first day, god said "let there be light", Salifou said "say please" Quality. Salifou is the true mind behind MON's tactics. Salifou is lending Randy the capital to take Villa forward. Salifou caused the Big Bang.

March 01, 2008

Arrlui said:

Salifou arm wrestled Jeremy beadle as a child. Beadle never recovered.

March 01, 2008

Name

Email

Website

Title

Comment

smaller | bigger

Subscribe via email (Registered users only)

Add Comment