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Although it would be painfully close to the truth, I wouldn't wish this week's clinic to come across as the result of an excess of sunshine and cold lager. However, I do have a strange twist on some of the transfer-related speculation going on at the moment.
I think it makes sense to use a transfer market not only to buy in talent, not only to increase a squad's depth in numbers, but also to try to get the most out of the players you already have. Players are often transferred between clubs in two's and even three's because they work well together and settle more quickly into the dressing room.
I suspect it is no coincidence that the arrival of Shaun Maloney as a regular in Villa's first team has seen an upturn in the form of Stiliyan Petrov. Erstwhile Celtic colleagues Chris Sutton and Didier Agathe enjoyed such fleeting moments in the first team limelight that they were never likely to have a similar effect.
Still, with consistent rumours that Petrov and his family are finding it hard to settle in the Midlands, and accepting that Stan is a superb talent yet to find his best form for Villa, I wonder whether a more radical and imaginative approach to the transfer market might be in order.
If Martin O'Neill could bring in a top-level Bulgarian international colleague, would that not help settle Petrov and his family down? His biography reveals clearly that he is not a gregarious, extrovert character but more of a settled, family-and-friends type - having another Bulgarian in the first team and another Bulgarian family within commuting distance of Bodymoor Heath would seem to make sense to me.
Of course, and here's the rub, I'm not talking about Todorov or even namesake Martin Petrov from Atletico Madrid. Let's go the whole hog. With JPA on his way across the pond and O'Neill clear that he will look for at least one more top-class striker, my first choice is not Keane or Defoe (although the club is right) - it's none other than Dimitar Berbatov.
Berbatov is a fast, powerful, skilful striker with a poachers eye for goal and tremendous versatility. He would be tough to prise from Spurs, but if Villa really want to get aggressive with Mr. Lerner's promised millions a move for Berbatov would make a real statement.
It would also constitute a highly intelligent piece of business. I just wonder whether we wouldn't, at the same time, recruit a truly great striker and ensure a return on the ?7m or so we invested in Stan.
Spurs fans will now write in by the shedload to put this argument down, but it just makes sense to me.
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